Ringing in the New Year

I had talked to my mom about Jerid and his CF and she always told me she loved me and to be careful because she did not want to see me hurt again. She knew what CF was and what it could do. Although she did like Jerid she was still very leery about me being involved with a man whose life expectancy was half of what mine was. My mom talked to one of her friends about it and her friend told her it was nothing to worry about because they are making leaps and bounds in CF care and research and plus Jerid was really really cute! I could have gotten mad at my mother but I understand where she is coming from. She was being a good mother.

On New Year’s Eve Jerid and I had decided to go out and celebrate the ending of a year and the beginning of another with our friends. It was my ex husbands holiday with our children so I said why not! I always enjoyed the company of my good friends and most of them were going to be there that night. It turned midnight and the New Year had begun. Everyone was dancing and singing along with the band, who I am very good friends with. Definitely a great way to start a new year. I sat down and started to talk to one of my good friends and then I hear my name. I didn't think much of it because it was a crowded place and there is more than one Rachel in the world, but as I listened, I noticed it was Jerid’s voice and my name coming from the speakers. I turned towards the stage and there was Jerid with the microphone in hand. He was giving me the gesture to come up on stage. Mike was standing just off to the side of Jerid with a big grin on his face holding his bass guitar. I knew right then what was happening and I'll never forget that moment. I was shaking. I walked up on stage and looked in Jerid’s eyes. Jerid got down on one knee and said “I want this to be the first day of the rest of our lives together. Will you please marry me?" The whole world stood still and all I could hear and see was Jerid. Just him and I. I was oblivious to the shouts and screams that went on after I said yes. I had found my perfect man. People came up that we didn't know and shook our hands or gave us a hug, and expressed their congratulations. For a brief moment I remembered when I told Jerid I was never getting married again. Then a calm came over me and I knew that it was right. Intuition? Maybe, divine intervention? I would say yes for sure on that one. I had asked him what made him change his mind about marriage and how was I so different from his past girlfriends. He couldn't explain it to me. He says he just knew I was the one and I was the only one who took interest in his healthcare.

I called my parents to ask them what they were doing during a certain month. My mom’s reply was, "Coming to your wedding?" After I told her yes I hear my dad in the back ground "He didn't ask me first." My father is old fashioned and believes that the man should get permission from the father first. So I handed Jerid the phone and told him "It's my dad and he wants to talk to you." He smiled and took the phone. I do not know what he and my dad talked about. That conversation was between Jerid and my dad, but I am pretty sure it was my dad making sure that Jerid was the good man I had told them about. That was fine with me of course. I do have wonderful parents.

I would read about CF in bits and pieces. I didn’t want to take too much in. I had a hard enough time with the small bits I had read. Some of the things I had read were the brutal truth and there was no sugar coating on Cystic Fibrosis at all, while others focused on the 65 Roses part of CF. The rose is a beautiful flower. It has many different colors and the petals are many different shapes and sizes but the rose also has thorns. I thought the rose was the perfect flower to represent CF because along with the beauty of the rose it also had thorns. Although I did find comfort in the sugar coated CF stuff, I knew that I needed to know the reality of CF and what it is capable of doing to someone. I wanted to know exactly what I was fighting against.

I started to go with Jerid to his doctor’s appointments. I got to see what Pulmonary Function Tests (PFTs) were and I tried to find the humor in him blowing as hard as he could into this funny looking machine. I told him to blow as hard as he could but don't leave skid marks afterwards because I did his laundry. He just laughed and shook his head at me and told me he loved me. The first doctor appointment I went to with him was very interesting. I had learned that he was supposed to be using his Vest machine while he was doing his nebulizer treatments. I told on him to his doctor because he had not been doing it. It was very frustrating to me because here we were engaged and making wedding plans and he wasn't doing everything he was suppose to be doing. I got his medication list from his doctor so I knew everything that he was suppose to be taking and how often. I do not mind fighting CF. I will do it until I am no longer here but I cannot fight both CF and Jerid. I knew doing both would be exhausting.